Our brains attach personal meaning to the things we own, making it harder to throw them away. Neuroscience offers practical ways to overcome this resistance, from taking photographs of sentimental objects to asking whether we would buy them today.
Clearing out a home can be surprisingly emotional. Old notebooks, clothes that no longer fit and forgotten souvenirs may have little practical value, yet getting rid of them can feel like losing a part of ourselves.
The difficulty is not necessarily irrational. Research in neuroscience suggests that the brain systems responsible for assessing an object’s value overlap with those involved in processing our sense of identity. As a result, we often place greater value on things simply because they belong to us.
For a neuroscientist studying decision-making, understanding this connection offers a way to make decluttering less stressful. Rather than fighting our instincts, we can learn to work with the brain’s decision-making processes.
Why we become attached to our possessions
Psychologists have long observed the “endowment effect”: people tend to value objects they own more highly than comparable items they do not possess.
Brain-imaging research offers a possible explanation. In one study, participants were asked to sort objects into baskets belonging either to themselves or to another person. Assigning an object to their own basket immediately increased activity in brain systems associated with self-relevance. Participants subsequently remembered and preferred those objects more than others.
This helps explain why an ordinary possession can acquire extraordinary significance. Old school notebooks, for example, may no longer be useful for studying, but they can feel like tangible pieces of a former identity.
The prospect of giving them away also activates loss aversion, the tendency to feel the pain of losing something more strongly than the pleasure of gaining something comparable. Studies examining buying and selling decisions have linked greater reluctance to part with possessions to increased activity in brain regions involved in processing pain, risk and attention.
The result is familiar: family heirlooms remain in cupboards, ill-fitting clothes occupy wardrobes, and unwanted mugs accumulate in kitchen cabinets.
Objects bring the past back to life
Possessions can also serve as triggers for autobiographical memories. An old hat, a childhood toy or a stack of notebooks can bring a previous version of ourselves vividly to mind.
Research using brain imaging suggests that memories of our former selves can become compressed over time, much as distant objects appear less distinct. Encountering an object associated with an earlier period can temporarily restore that connection, making the past feel closer.
This emotional link can make decluttering particularly difficult. Discarding an object may feel like rejecting the memories attached to it, even when keeping it serves little purpose.
But there are ways to change how we approach these decisions.
Three ways to make letting go easier
1. Ask whether you would buy it today
Instead of asking, “Do I want to keep this?”, try asking, “Would I buy this today?”
The first question frames decluttering as a potential loss. The second turns it into a fresh decision about whether an object deserves a place in your life now.
Changing the question can help shift attention away from ownership and towards present-day value. A kettle, a jacket or an old notebook becomes something you can choose to keep rather than something you must surrender.
2. Look at the object through someone else’s eyes
Imagining another person’s perspective can change how we evaluate our possessions. Research has found that asking people to consider someone else’s viewpoint can influence their behaviour and alter their responses to situations.
A partner, friend or relative may see an object more practically because it is not tied to their own memories. Asking what a neutral observer would think can help separate an item’s current usefulness from its emotional associations.
This approach can be particularly helpful when sorting through a shared home or dealing with possessions inherited from a loved one.
3. Take photographs before donating items
A photograph can preserve a memory without requiring the physical object to remain in the house.
In one study, university dormitories displayed posters encouraging students to donate unwanted possessions. Some posters also suggested photographing the items before giving them away. The dormitories with the additional suggestion recorded 15% more donations.
The finding suggests that people may find it easier to part with possessions when they have another way to preserve their connection to them.
Make decluttering a social activity
Changing habits is easier when the process itself offers some immediate reward. Sharing progress with friends, receiving encouragement and helping others make similar decisions can provide motivation to continue.
Social connections can also help reduce stress. Discussing a sentimental object with someone who understands its history may make it easier to decide what to do with it. Equally, advising another person on how to approach their clutter can remind us of the principles we should apply to our own possessions.
The aim is not to eliminate every object with sentimental value. It is to make more deliberate decisions about what deserves to stay.
Prevent clutter before it starts
Decluttering is only part of the problem. The modern consumer environment also encourages accumulation through targeted advertising, frictionless online shopping and the widespread availability of inexpensive manufactured goods.
Reducing exposure to these prompts — for example, by disabling promotional notifications, unsubscribing from marketing emails and making purchases more deliberately — can help limit the flow of new possessions into the home.
Ultimately, letting go is difficult not necessarily because an object is precious in itself, but because our brains connect ownership with identity, memory and the fear of loss.
The same psychological mechanisms can influence our attachment to old ideas and habits. Taking a step back, considering alternative perspectives and drawing on social support can help us recognise what still matters and what we can leave behind, without feeling that we are losing who we are.
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